The dangers of the recent knitting fad have been discussed in my previous article –
There, I expressed my concern about the Auntie Alliance and their plans to make tacky sweater wearing mandatory. I dismissed their colorful critters as a harmless by-product of an otherwise sinister scheme but clearly I was unaware of an incident that transpired back in 2005.
It seems the beast was conjured by an Austrian group called Gelitin, but fortunately, was taken out by military aircraft as it slowly descended from the night sky. We can only hope that this is the fierce, ancient deity responsible for the current craze, and not one of it’s smaller minions.
My modest estimate places it’s length at some two hundred feet long and our friends at Google Earth have discovered that it’s visible from space.
Purported to have been “knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool” (I suspect Missus Flutterbe and her coven of quilters was involved) The sculpture, entitled “Hase” Is German for “Hare.” and rest assured it is completely bio-degradable.
The carcass will be left to rot for the next twenty years presumably as a warning to all extraterrestrial demons seeking to follow in its fuzzy, pink footsteps. Those wishing to pay homage to their fallen master may make a pilgrimage to the great hill Colletto Fava in the Piedmont region of northern Italy.
The art group Gelitin – ponder more of their delicious insanity here –
had this to say about their colossal achievement – I suppose, in response to cries of WHAT THE &@#* were you thinking.
“The things one finds wandering in a landscape: familiar things and utterly unknown, like a flower one has never seen before, or, as Columbus discovered, an inexplicable continent;
and then, behind a hill, as if knitted by giant grandmothers, lies this vast rabbit, to make you feel as small as a daisy.
The toilet-paper-pink creature lies on its back: a rabbit-mountain like Gulliver in Lilliput.
Happy you feel as you climb up along its ears, almost falling into its cavernous mouth, to the belly-summit and look out over the pink woolen landscape of the rabbit’s body, a country dropped from the sky;
ears and limbs sneaking into the distance; from its side flowing heart, liver and intestines.
Happily in love you step down the decaying corpse, through the wound, now small like a maggot, over woolen kidney and bowel.
Happy you leave like the larva that gets its wings from an innocent carcass at the roadside.
Such is the happiness which made this rabbit.
I love the rabbit the rabbit loves me.”